So many of the emotions I experienced as a young wife were unhealthy and I was completely oblivious to their destructive nature. Anger, fear, guilt, envy, shame and sadness suck the health from your life and marriage whether you realize it or not. I’m continually amazed at the amount of pain humans are willing to live with.
BUT, it need not be so.
If you are willing to look at the source of unhealthy emotions and expose them to the love-light of Jesus Christ, He will exchange your pain for peace and joy! This is not an overnight process but rather a journey one step at a time.
While two of my adult children were making poor choices, I came face to face with guilt and shame. I’d had high hopes for their future with God, but now, weighed down by their disappointing actions, I COWERED in guilt and shame. I wanted to hide.
My pain motivated me to talk to a Christian counselor, and I was encouraged to face my emotions (you’ll need encouragement—this isn’t easy). She helped me discover that I learned as a child to cover up sin rather than risk rejection from exposed failures. As a mother, I repeated this childhood pattern. When my kids participated in sinful behavior, I’d control the damage so as not to risk others’ rejection. When I lacked the control to cover my adult children’s sin, I wanted to hide in shame. Move over, Adam and Eve!
This wasn’t the first time this unhealthy emotion had done it’s dirty work in my life. Shame also kept me from sharing my marriage struggles earlier than I did which prevented me from receiving the help I so desperately needed early on.
God will work THROUGH your emotions if you let Him. If you stop running from them and face them head on, He will be there to comfort, help, and heal you through the process. If I discover that my own sin is the root of my emotions, I confess it. If not, I let it go.
It’s been a POSITIVE experience to uncover and deal with the source of my weighty emotions. I’ve grown stronger. I’m cleansed from sin, enjoying increased freedom, and finding acceptance among the women I talk to.
- Uncover the source of your emotions. If you can’t do it on your own, get the help you need from a friend, mentor, or counselor.
- Move toward your pain. It’s difficult at first, but increased freedom will be the result.
- Allow God to heal you. He’s waiting for you to let Him in.
What unhealthy emotions which have taken up residence in your life threaten your marriage?
Last month, we sought God for a break-through in our marriages by participating in the Fast-for-Your-Marriage Challenge and because we did, this month we’ll focus on some much needed self-care. Many of you experienced a period of intense difficulty both during and since the fast so it’s time to take good care of yourself NOW so you can finish the race well!
I’ve had to be patient with myself during the past two weeks because the fast marked the end of a very busy, intense time in my life. The publicity tour for The Beautiful Wife has been going strong since January, I participated in prayer and fasting for yours and my marriage, and I attended a retreat for survivors of sexual abuse (stay tuned for more on this later). Afterward, I was exhausted! Like the woman in the picture, I threw off my running shoes and lay down.
I let a lot of Beautiful Womanhood ministry work go and was initially agitated rather than accepting of the fact that I’d taxed my limits and needed to rest.
Even Jesus rested while He walked the earth and He was more aware of the needs around Him than anyone else!
Why is it IMPORTANT for a wife to accept the fact that she must care for herself WELL? Because if you desire to continue
- praying for your husband
- practicing good attitudes
- following through with the last thing God told you to do
- remain hopeful that God hears and will answer your prayers
you’ll need to love yourself well! If you don’t, you and your marriage will suffer the results.
What does loving yourself look like to you?
- Eating a bit of chocolate?
- Refraining from unhealthy foods?
- Taking a walk?
- Having coffee with a friend?
- Spending an hour or two on a hobby you love?
- Dancing to a song you love?
Whatever it is, do it today, tomorrow, or this week. Just DO IT and refresh your weary soul, mind, and body!
Stop by Facebook and share your “you-time” practices with others. What do you need to do today in order to participate in a little self-care?
Win a Kindle Touch and RSVP for FB party 3/8!
Enter Today and Save the Date-3/8!
Celebrate with Sandy by entering her Kindle Touch Giveaway and coming to her “Beautiful Womanhood” Facebook Party on March 8!
One beautiful winner will receive:
- A Brand new Kindle Touch with Wi-Fi
- The Beautiful Wife By Sandy Ralya
- The Beautiful Wife Prayer Journal and Mentor’s Guide
Enter today by clicking one of the icons below. But hurry, the giveaway ends 3/7/12. Winner will be announced at Sandy’s “Beautiful Womanhood” Facebook Party on 3/8. Sandy will be hosting an evening of chat, laughter and encouragement – bring your friends! She’ll also be giving away some GREAT prizes: gift certificates, books, prayer journals and a live chat with Sandy for your Bible study or small group!
So grab your copy of The Beautiful Wife and join Sandy and friends on the evening of March 8th for an evening of fun.
Don’t miss a moment of the fun. RSVP today and tell your friends via FACEBOOK or TWITTER and increase your chances of winning. Hope to see you on March 8th!
Dana Pierce and Susan Seay are Friday’s winners of The Beautiful Wife!
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Sara Rooks and Violet Mafuwe are today’s winners!!
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Sharon Slone are Tuesday’s winners of The Beautiful Wife.
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Announcing Monday’s winners of The Beautiful Wife…
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Stay tuned tomorrow for Tuesday’s winners!