Many of us don’t realize when our communication with others is passive aggressive. Do you use undercover means to get your way, to get even, and to express what you are not willing to say in a straightforward manner?
A passive-aggressive woman makes jokes or snide remarks to draw her husband into conversation about his behavior. Passive-aggressive women PROCRASTINATE, FORGET, and DAWDLE in order to convey displeasure without saying why. Do you POUT and then deny that anything is bothering you? If so, you struggle with passive aggressive tendencies. This behavior is not honest.
Do you ever make jokes or snide remarks about something that‘s bothering you concerning your husband? You may say, -My husband hasn’t seen a 36-inch waist in years, or ―He wouldn‘t stop and ask directions to save his life. I see many women resort to this instead of assertively discussing their concern for his health or the importance of arriving on time.
Do you convey displeasure through convenient forgetfulness?
During the difficult years of our marriage, Tom would ask me to do things for him, and when I was angry about something he’d done, I’d forget to do the requested task. It was easier to be dishonest rather than confront Tom with my feelings. Interestingly, the message he heard was that he wasn’t important to me because I frequently forgot what was important to him. The message I wanted him to hear was I was hurt.
The passive-aggressive woman uses the SILENT TREATMENT. She punishes her husband by ignoring his existence without telling him why. It is far easier to punish him indirectly than to confront him honestly.
When I was hurt by my husband, I often used the silent treatment to send a signal to Tom that I was in emotional pain. My plan was for him to see my pain, be moved by it, and act to heal me. As I reflect back, I find it laughable that I thought silence was effectively communicating my heart to Tom. In reality, the silent treatment shuts down all communication.
How does passive-aggressive behavior affect your husband? It confuses him. He wonders what he’s done that has upset you. He senses your displeasure but can’t make sense of it, much less ―fix it. All he has to work with are dishonest or unclear messages, rather than clear explanations. You must speak TRUTHFULLY with your husband in order to be understood and enjoy OPEN communication.