Do you remember the movie Erin Brokovich, played by Julia Roberts? The movie centered around the small town of Hinkley, whose water supply was contaminated with hexavalent chromium, used by Pacific Gas and Electric to keep their machinery from rusting. As a result, a disproportionate number of Hinkley residents began to suffer major illnesses ranging from deteriorating spines to the need for premature hysterectomies. Their savior came in the form of a compassionate legal assistant who championed their cause, making a way for them to be compensated monetarily.
Many women I know are drinking the poisonous waters of shame corrupted by Evil itself. As a result, their confidence is sick and deteriorating. They’re suffering from emotional and spiritual illnesses that hinder them from enjoying a vibrant, fulfilling life. They too have a Savior who has championed their cause, making a way for them to experience His love, acceptance and forgiveness- the cure for all that ails them.
Yet many have bought into the lie that
- Intelligence
- Beauty
- Success
- Wealth
- Abilities
will provide the confidence they lack. They work and hope for these while ignoring the One who can save them.
None of these things are necessarily bad, but they will NOT PRODUCE LASTING CONFIDENCE.
How do I know? Because the items on this list are subject to change at any time.
I’ve met women with some or all of the above, and many of them can’t look me in the eye for very long before averting their eyes or dropping their gaze. Haven’t you met these women too? Or didn’t you hold their gaze long enough to notice?
Shame is invasive, pervasive and if that weren’t bad enough, it’s not an easy topic to wrap your brain around. Few understand shame let alone do anything about it. And for those who do, it takes time to rid oneself of its poisonous effects.
A Christian therapist explained to me that shame wasn’t something one could shed like an unwanted coat on a hot summer’s day. It more closely resembled the endometriosis I suffered as a young woman- spaghetti like scar tissue caused by rogue blood attaching itself to vital organs. The pain was intense. Surgery required.
Shame’s effects have been described in a similar fashion: a “Hemorrhage of the soul,” a bleeding of pain and exposure that feels unstoppable and life threatening. It is intense.
We first see shame appear in the Bible the moment sin entered the world. They ate and they were ashamed and so they hid.
Adam and Eve felt legitimate guilt and shame about disobeying God’s command not to eat from their one prohibition. And so they hid.
Adam and Eve felt illegitimate shame about their sexuality, their maleness and femaleness. Again they hid. Their sexual body parts, that is. The parts of themselves specifically created to provide pleasure, intimacy and life.
When you’ve sinned (legitimate guilt or shame) have you been tempted to hide? I have. I don’t want others, including God, to know what I’ve done.
When others have sinned against you, have you hid? I have as well. I don’t want others to know what’s been done to me. In a weird twist of reality, I feel responsible.
There is a better way to deal with shame than hiding. In next week’s blog, we’ll look at the alternative that decimates the power of shame in your life so you can live in holy-confidence, head held high, eyes riveted.
Has shame poisoned your confidence?
This week, before you log onto Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest, PRAY for your husband and watch your marriage improve!
- Pray that your husband will grow spiritually and consider his accountability before the Lord. pray that he will guard his heart by developing spiritual disciplines- Bible reading and study, prayer meditation, scripture memorization, etc. (II Peter 3:18; Proverbs 4:23)
- Pray that your husband’s relationship with God and His Word will bear fruit in his life. Pray that he will be a man of wisdom and understanding, fearing the Lord. (Proverbs 3:7, 9:10, Psalms 112:1)
- Pray that your husband will be humble and quick to agree with God about his sin. Pray that his heart will be tender toward the voice of the Lord. (Psalms 51:2-4; Micah 6:8)
- Pray that your husband will grow in leadership skills in your relationship-protecting and providing for you. Pray that he will lead you wisely and love you sacrificially, so that God will be glorified in your marriage. (Ephesians 5:25-29; Colossians 3:19)
- Pray that your husband will be faithful to his wedding vows. Pray that he will have a desire to cultivate your relationship as a sign of his loyalty and commitment to you, and as a picture of Christ’s love for the Church. (Proverbs 20:6; Genesis 2:24)
- Pray that your husband will love righteousness and hate wickedness especially the evils of the culture. Pray that he will recognize and avoid wickedness in his own life, and if necessary take a clear, strong stand against evil. (Proverbs 27:12; John 17:15; I Corinthians 10:12-13)
- Pray that your husband will safeguard his heart against inappropriate relationships with the opposite sex. Pray that his heart will be pure and undivided in his commitment to you. (Proverbs 6:23-24, 26; Romans 13:14)
- Pray that your husband will work hard to provide for your family, to the best of his ability. Pray that the character qualities necessary for a successful career and ministry will be a growing part of his character–persistence, decisiveness, strength, and analytical mind, organizational skills, positive relationships with people, determination, etc. (Romans 12:11; Corinthians 15:58)
- Pray that your husband handles finances wisely, will have discernment concerning budgeting and investments, and will be a good steward of his money in regard to giving to the Lord’s work. Pray that money will not become a source of discord in your family. (Proverbs 23:4-5; Romans 12:13; Hebrews 13:5
- Pray that your husband will cultivate strong integrity, and not compromise his convictions. Pray that his testimony will be genuine, that he will be honest in his business dealings, and will never do anything that he needs to hide from others. (Proverbs 20:7, I Timothy 1:5, 3:7, Ephesians 6:10-12)
Prayers prayed do NOT return to the Lord void, but will accomplish the purpose for which they were sent. (Isaiah 55:11)
(These were passed along to me by a friend. I do not know the source.)
 Dr. John Gottman is an academic researcher who is able to predict with 94% accuracy which couples will succeed and which will fail in marriage. Want to know what the good Dr. found out about what the happiest couples do?
Here’s the list!
- Strive for a 5:1 ratio. In your interactions with each other, make five positive comments for every negative one.
- Turn toward each other. When your spouse makes what Dr. Gottman calls an “emotional bid” (when he reaches out to you with a comment, question, or touch) turn toward him to show you are open, listening, and engaged. Unhealthy relationships ignore emotional bids or react to them with anger or hostility.
- Be open to influence. Don’t get stuck in a rut by always sticking to your position on a given subject. Listen and remain open to what your spouse has to say.
- Spend enjoyable time together. As life gets busy, it’s not always easy to put time into your relationship. Spending time together is one of the ESSENTIAL elements of the happiest relationships.
- Make the most of conflict. Introduce conflict gently. Focus on feelings rather than on your spouses actions. Avoid contempt (eyeball rolling), insults, and hostility. De-escalate negative feelings by apologizing for a painful remark, injecting a bit of humor, or offering a sympathetic smile.
Dr. Gottman has learned a lot by watching couples and as a result has learned a lot about what makes marriages work.
Mentors have also learned what it takes to make a marriage work. Through personal experience and learning to make God’s Word practical, a mentor can offer much-needed wisdom and guidance for wives. Listen to what one woman said about her mentoring experience.
“Our first [mentoring] session confirmed that [Sandy] was indeed sent by GOD. In 8 weeks I have seen miracles in my marriage that I have been trying to accomplish in the past 7 years of our relationship and 3 1/2 year marriage. I feel like I’m in a new marriage and GOD is restoring the broken areas.” Kimyan M. Canada
Would you like to join a Beautiful Womanhood online mentoring group for wives led by Sandy Ralya- founder of Beautiful Womanhood? You can! But space is limited. There are only 8 spots available, so sign up now. Latest date to register is April 30, 2013.
The online group runs from May 2013 through October 2013 and meets on Tuesdays from 7:30 pm to 9:00 pm Eastern Standard Time.
What are the benefits of this online mentoring group?
- Learn core biblical and marriage principles
- Receive encouragment to make positive changes in a negative marriage environment
- Create a vision for your marriage, and a customized action Marriage Plan to get there
- Achieve greater intimacy and communication
- Develop and strengthen your faith
- Take better care of your own needs
- Discover hope
Here’s what else you’ll receive:
- Dedicated time to specifically invest in you and your marriage
- Support, insight, energy, and feedback from the group and Sandy
- New friendships
- A program structure that gives you accountability for the marriage you were designed to have
- Greater peace, joy, and fulfillment in your marriage
Registration: Contact 616-862-0321 or email Sandy@BeautifulWomanhood.com or register by clicking here.
Would you like a happier, healthier marriage that mentoring provides?
 Beauties, meet Carla Anne Coroy. I know you’ll be blessed by her story, as I was.
I got married with expectations.
I’d found a man who loved me and expected him to be my companion, right by my side, for the next several decades until death parted us. So when education, and then career kept him away from home so much our oldest became convinced we’d gotten a divorce – I was hugely disappointed. God had not kept His end of the deal.
What deal?
I thought there was something in the Bible that promised Christians would have happy marriages. God hates divorce, right? So wouldn’t He then automatically make all Christian marriages happy?
Umm… no.
I was ready to pack up and leave, taking my four children with me. I was determined to find what I felt I deserved: a happy marriage.
I’d gotten involved with another man, thinking that was the solution. I was even so bold as to think God had brought this illicit relationship into my life to bless me! But it wasn’t God’s doing. He never tempts us to sin.
In fact, God thwarted my plans over the course of one week with several major interventions. None of them were easy on me. (I share the whole story in my book, Married Mom, Solo Parent.) God was offering me a choice I didn’t really want to make.
Did I want to pursue happiness or would I pursue Him and His holiness?
Saying yes to happiness meant I could try my luck at a new relationship, or even life on my own. Surely being single would be easier than marriage to a man who was rarely around. But was happiness really there to be found?
Saying yes to holiness meant I might never have happiness in my marriage, but that I’d be met at heaven’s door with the words from God, “Well done, my good and faithful servant, enter into the joy of your Master.”
Could I do it? Could I really survive in a marriage with a man I could barely be in the same room with while I pursued holiness? Would God really, truly help me? Would the next 50 years of marriage be brutal or would there be joy in it somewhere?
I honestly felt like I was giving myself a sentence of perpetual pain when I said yes to God. My belief in the Bible’s teaching on heaven was firmly planted in my heart. I knew one day I’d face Jesus and I wanted Him to accept me with open arms, and even be proud of me and how well I had obeyed Him.
So I broke off the other relationship, and today I’m so glad I did. I learned through practice, and some blunders, how to pray for my husband, how to respect him even when I felt like some things he did were not respectable. I learned how to communicate with him instead of talking at him. I began to serve my husband.
Becoming a godly wife changed my marriage. It changed my whole life, actually. Our culture does not praise or congratulate a godly wife. It’s like swimming upstream. Yet, there is nothing more empowering and joyful than living a life in which God is honored.
We will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary in June. We are more in love than ever before. But the joy I have in God, even when things are tough – that’s the very best part.
God doesn’t promise us a happy marriage, but if we surrender to Him, He promises to make us holy within it. And the joy of that far outshines any happiness we may have dreamed of.
Carla Anne’s Short Bio
Carla Anne Coroy is a Christian speaker and blogger, and the award-winning author of Married Mom, Solo Parent. She ministers to a wide audience through her website and blog at carlaanne.com. Carla Anne has served full-time with organizations such as Youth for Christ and Crown Financial Ministries, and is currently developing mentoring resources for women and an international mentoring organization for youth. She also serves as a staff writer for the online magazine Mentoring Moments for Christian Women and is a spokesperson for Faithbuddy.com. Carla Anne lives in Canada with her husband and four homeschooled children.
12 Days of Healing Marriage Fast
 Day 8: Are you living like the ungodly by DEFAULT and thereby personally robbing your marriage of God’s healing power? Paul is addressing Christians in Ephesians 4:17-19, imploring them to open their minds and soften their hearts, so that the work of the Holy Spirit- CONVICTION- can be felt and heeded. I’ve got to be honest: there have been many times in my life as a Christ-follower that the delights of this world have taken precedence over my delight in Christ. Immoral idol-worship WILL take a toll on your marriage! The area I’m most convicted about in this season of life is MONEY! Having ignored (sometimes intentionally, sometimes unintentionally) God’s wisdom concerning money, greed and fear gained entrance to my life and affected my role as HELPER to my husband. The result wasn’t pretty!
In what area of your life do you live like the ungodly-
- choice of music
- gossip
- demeaning your husband
- indifference to God?
Prayer and fasting unstops your ears and clears your eyes to see where ungodliness has taken root and produced bad fruit in your life, thereby affecting your marriage.
Today, listen to the counsel of The Holy Spirit. Record any wisdom you glean from God’s word. Think about it throughout the day. Allow it to transform the way you think and act. You’ll experience more peace and power for your life and marriage.
Prayer for WIVES: Lord, show me where I’ve allowed impurity and greed to infiltrate my life, thereby negatively affecting my marriage. Convict me by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Prayer for HUSBANDS: Lord, help my husband to notice the changes I make in my life and may they inspire Him to follow you in lock-step.
Prayer for MARRIAGE: Lord, May your righteousness and holiness shine through our marriage so that others will see and know that YOU ARE GOOD and that YOUR WAYS WORK!
 I’m so glad you’ve joined the 12 Days of Healing Marriage Fast! Let’s expect great things as we seek the face of God during the fast.
Day 1: There is direct opposition between the Spirit of God and our carnal flesh as indicated in Galatians 5:17, and fasting breaks down this barrier. The 2 great barriers to the Holy Spirit’s work in our life?
- Stubborn self-will
- Self-gratifying appetites of the body
Fasting brings both body and soul into subjection to the Holy Spirit. When your body and soul are controlled by the Spirit, He can work unhindered through your prayers. There is only ONE limit to what God will do. Fasting will never change the righteous standards of God. If something is outside the will of God, fasting will not put it inside His will.
In Ephesians 4, Paul describes a life of unity in the body of Christ. During this fast we’ll take these same verses and apply them to our marriage in order to achieve increased unity with our husbands.
Ephesians 4:2 Humility is required in order to achieve unity.
Prayer for wives: Father, please work godly humility into my THOUGHTS and ACTIONS toward my husband. By the power of Your Spirit, alert me when I become proud. In Jesus name, Amen.
Day 2: After fasting for 40 days, Luke 4:14 says, “And Jesus returned IN THE POWER OF THE SPIRIT into Galilee. Fasting produces Spirit POWER. We want more of the Spirit’s power to work unhindered through our prayers today.
Prayer for wives: Lord, I ask the Spirit to produce His fruit of GENTLENESS in me. (Ephesians 4:2). Gentleness promotes unity. A gentle answer averts wrath.
Prayer for Husbands: Lord, lead ______ from the darkness and deepest gloom; snap his chains. Let _______ praise the Lord for His great love and for all His wonderful deeds to him.
Prayer for Marriage: May your gracious Spirit lead us forward on a firm footing. Psalms 143:10
Day 3: There is power in a FAST and Satan knows it. He knew Jesus would emerge from the wilderness in POWER so he tried to disrupt Jesus’ 40 day fast. On Sunday, the enemy tried to disturb the unity Tom and I have been enjoying, but through increased prayer during this fast, the Spirit revealed Ephesians 4:2 as a way to move through the disunity and oneness was restored! Increased time in the Word and prayer yields sweet fruit during a fast. Are you experiencing Satan’s lies and discouragement during the fast? Satan tested Jesus too, and in response, Jesus said, “It is written…”. Jesus used the words of Scripture to fight Satan’s lies and discouragement and he came through it FULL of the Holy Spirit’s power.
Prayer for Wives:Ask the Spirit to produce His fruit of patience in you so you can make allowance for your husband’s faults because of your love.
Prayer for Husbands: Lord, produce patience in __________ so he can make allowance for my faults because of His love. Amen.
Prayer for Marriage: May our marriage cause others to CLEARLY see a picture of your grace, love, and forgiveness.
Day 4: God doesn’t need anything. But God decided to need you and me. He longs to partner with us. Throughout the Bible, you will NEVER find a time after creation when God did anything without partnering with man.
God has limited His unlimited power to the extent of your faith. Jesus wants to do a might work in your life and marriage. Do you believe?
The ability to believe or TRUST God is one of the most talked about and poorly practiced acts Christians do. How can we boost our faith in the MOST HIGH? Through Praise and Worship.
I’ve found thanksgiving, praise, and worship to AUTOMATICALLY INCREASE my ability to trust God. Enter into His gates with thanksgiving and draw even closer to His heart through praise. Bless the Lord, O my soul and forget not all His benefits. Bless the His Holy Name!
Click on the Revelation Song and begin and end this day in worship so that your faith will increase. God’s power flowing through your life and marriage will increase in proportion to the increase of your faith.
God chooses you as His partner to accomplish great things!
Prayer for you: Lord, help me to lovingly accept my husband even when we have differences.
Prayer for husband: Lord, help my husband to bear with me when we disagree.
Prayer for marriage: Lord, may our marriage be characterized by humility, gentleness, and patience so we can dwell together in unity. Ephesians 4:2,3
Day 5: Fasting brings deliverance and victory. Reading the story of King Jehoshaphat, in 2 Chronicles 20:1-30 we learn what to do in the day of trouble.
1. Seek the Lord for guidance
2. Fast
3.Worship the Lord
4.Praise Him for what He’s already done
5.Bring your concerns to God
6.Listen to what He says-this may come through Scripture, prayer, another person
7.Obey
8.Thank Him for His guidance
9. Believe that God will do what He said He would do
10. Thank Him for deliverance
The enemies of Jehoshaphat relied on earthly weapons but King J relied on spiritual weapons that still work today. The outcome of the conflict you face is determined by the supremacy of spiritual weapons over earthly ones.
Prayer, Praise, and fasting are spiritual weapons that bring deliverance and victory- both in you, your husband and your marriage.
Prayer for you: Lord, help me to distinguish between sin and annoyances in my husband. If I’m simply annoyed, help me to keep quiet, saving my influence for when it’s truly needed. (Ephesians 4:15)
Prayer for husband: Lord, help my husband to enjoy me for who I am, quirks and all!
Prayer for marriage: Lord, help our marriage to be characterized by unconditional love.
 Do you hear wisdom calling out, raising her voice, and crying aloud as Proverbs 8:1-6 indicates? If you need wisdom for your marriage, it’s freely available- in fact it’s screaming at you. If that’s true, why do so many of us struggle to hear God’s voice?
Many of God’s beautiful women have unwittingly (or not) been worshiping modern-day cultural idols which block our ability to hear God clearly.
These idols include
- Busyness
- Entertainment
- Shopping
- Self-indulgence
Bowing down to these idols creates a waxy build-up over time that decreases your ear-drum’s ability to sense the vibrations of God’s voice. Time to reach for a spiritual Q-tip!
A fast is the spiritual equivalent of a Q-tip.
When you fast, you humble yourself.
When you fast, you admit your need for God Almighty.
When you fast, your repent for travelling on a fruitless, ineffective path.
When you fast, you listen.
When you fast, you record what God reveals.
When you fast, you obey what He tells you to do.
When you fast, you gain pertinent, spiritual wisdom that WILL change your life!
No matter what condition your marriage is in, it will improve when God’s wisdom is applied. A tiny drop of godly wisdom can make a HUGE change in your marriage.
People don’t avoid this spiritual discipline because it doesn’t work. On the contrary! It’s a powerful tool that cleans out the ears of your understanding.
Fasting is unpopular because it isn’t fun or easy-two things we Americans adore.
So…what do you want? To hear God’s wisdom concerning your marriage or continue on in your own wisdom. Please care enough about your marriage and any children you may have to answer this question with great thought.
If you’re tempted by the knowledge that your marriage could grow into a fulfilling, beautiful relationship with your husband, please join me for the 12 Days of Healing Marriage Fast beginning March 18-29 on Facebook.
Fasting removed my inability to hear God concerning my messy marriage. It was a vital tool that helped turn my marriage around!
How do you fast?
There are many fasts to choose from. Consider one of the following.
- Daniel Fast
- Eliminate a food you turn to every day (a friend of mine fasted Dr. Pepper)
- Water/no food (for 1-3 days for you hard-core fasters)
- Entertainment
- Spending
Whatever you choose to fast, it’s important you devote time each day to seeking God. How do you do that?
- Find a quiet place
- Begin thanking/praising God for His goodness (this brings your thoughts under control)
- Read your Bible (Proverbs is a great source of wisdom)
- Record your thoughts in a journal when a particular verse strikes you
- Think about this verse throughout the day
- Ask God to help you implement His wisdom in your life
- Obey what He asks you to do
Beginning March 18-29, I’ll be sharing thoughts from Ephesians for you to ponder on Facebook as well as here on this blog. Check in every day to receive encouragement and share testimonies. Wouldn’t you like to hear what God says about your marriage?
Kim Ketola is a speaker, radio personality, and author of an excellent book, Cradle My Heart, which encourages women that they can find God’s love after abortion. I’m happy to call her my friend and grateful she agreed to write today’s guest blog.
Bonnie is a ministry leader who thought her marriage was rock-solid even though she had been emotionally wounded by abortion prior to meeting her husband Dave. Their story illustrates the healing power of honesty—and the hurt which can happen when it’s withheld.
When I first started dating Dave, we were each trying to put our lives back together after a difficult divorce. I told him about the abortion when I was young and single. He was so kind and understanding that I knew he was a very special man. Later we married and the abortion issue never came up until eight years later when God finally freed me of the shame of it at last. I stepped out in ministry and he was right there with me—serving as treasurer of our conference ministry and attending many, many fundraising banquets where I told the story of God’s grace.
Two years into my healing journey, I finally took the step of attending a Bible study support group which included a memorial service for our lost children. We each invited friends and family, so naturally I wanted Dave to be there. I sang a song I’d written as my tribute.
As I sang, I noticed Dave weeping. I had seldom seen him cry—much less in public. On our way home I asked him about it.
“I had two abortions in the marriage to Terry,” he said, looking straight ahead.
I was stunned. How was it possible that I was just now hearing this news?
“What happened?” I asked, “And why have you never mentioned this before now?”
“It wasn’t mine to tell. The decisions were hers,” was all he said.
“That’s it?!” I thought. “You’re protecting her?”
Feeling crushed and betrayed by him, I was also so sad for his loss. And I was relieved that he had found the courage to share the truth with me.
Abortion always presents a confusing array of conflicting emotions and competing affections—both before we choose it and in the aftermath. And abortion creates secrets and forbidden spaces where entire rooms of our hearts end up marked Do Not Enter. When key facts about our lives are withheld from our spouse intimacy is impeded. And marking off the territory of our hearts leads to the loneliest isolation of all—feeling all alone with the person sitting next to you.
Marriages can recover from the harm abortion does to men and women. Bonnie’s marriage came back stronger than before she learned Dave’s shattering secret.
“It took years for us to be able to work our way through it because I indulged Dave’s avoidance, and I forgot the power of love to cover a multitude of sins. When I began to pray that we would be able to give honor and dignity to those two children in heaven, our marriage began to heal.”
Bonnie’s prayers softened her own heart so that Dave felt safe sharing the whole story with her. He had been dominated in the marriage, and the abortions stood as the fatal verdict of his loss of manhood with his former wife. Other couples may suffer because the husband dominated in the abortion decision of his wife or a former partner thereby destroying the dignity of womanhood and mothering. In either case, couples can begin praying together for the healing of their marriage. As Bonnie and Dave did, Dave was able to process his grief and exercise true leadership in his home.
“He named the children Alpha and Omega because they would have been his first and his last. And he bought flowers in their honor for the altar at church that Easter.” Bonnie says.
“I’m so proud of him. Now we speak together as he encourages other men.”
It’s important to seek God first if abortion is an issue in your marriage. Also find the caring support of friends in faith to guide, direct, and pray with you. You may each need a confidante or mentor of your own to help you follow Christ where the healing journey leads. But find a way to follow Jesus with all your heart.
And keep on loving and forgiving each other, just as God loves you.
Kim Ketola’s book Cradle My Heart, Finding God’s Love After Abortion is a biblical resource for healing and restoring family relationships in the wake of the abortion choice.
 When I said my vows before God, Tom, and the guests at my wedding on December 12, 1980, I had NO clue about the magnitude of what I had just committed to do. Many don’t. Did you?
Exiting the church, we began our drive as man and wife but it wasn’t long before we hit a slick, sinful patch and landed in our first ditch! I was discouraged and unsure what move to make next.
God designed marriage to operate like a high-performance engine which produces power to navigate any terrain you encounter.
The secret behind this design is COVENANT. In Psalms 50:5, David writes about making a covenant. The Hebrew speaks of “cutting” a covenant, rather than merely making one. Cutting suggests the action of a knife which spills blood and produces death. In the Old Testament (covenant) it was the blood of bulls and goats that produced unity with God and in the New Testament (covenant), Jesus shed His blood as the perfect sacrifice to bring us into UNITY with Him once for all.
Bottom line: There can be no covenant without SACRIFICE.
What does this have to do with you and your marriage? When you married, you entered into a covenant relationship which requires sacrifice and that sacrifice is selflessness and self-denial!
In order to ENJOY unity with your husband, you must learn to put your selfish desires in second place after the desire to become one with your husband. Married in the church and a Christian, I trusted that God would bless me and my marriage but I didn’t realize He wanted to use me-as-sacrifice to bring blessing on my marriage.
Over time, I realized that, alone, I didn’t have what I needed to fulfill my promises. I felt ill-equipped and empty of the fuel needed to deal a death blow to my selfish ways.
Only the Holy Spirit has access to the supernatural fuel that will propel you forward out of any ditch, up steep mountains, and along the straight-away of your marriage. He offers pure fuel which protects the engine of your marriage from “knocking”.
Maybe you know where to go for help but you’ve been attempting to pump your own fuel. This is futile and unnecessary! The Holy Spirit filling station is FULL SERVICE!
- Go to Him.
- Ask Him to fill you.
- Allow Him to fill you with inspiration, words and ideas.
- Obey what He tells you to do.
One of the things He’ll instruct you to do is rid yourself of the junk in your trunk. What junk? The junk of wrong thinking caused by wounds you’ve sustained throughout your life. When provoked, this junk emerges from your trunk only to assault the unsuspecting–especially your husband with whom you live in close contact.
Or maybe you’re not the aggressive type and your junk remains confined to the safety of your trunk. In other words, you avoid offering truth to a husband walking in sin because you’re afraid to confront. This is equally selfish behavior which negatively impacts your marriage. Lightening your trunk’s load will give you increased power to propel your marriage forward with greater efficiency!
Living by the terms of covenant marriage will produce greater unity in your marriage.
Have you asked the Holy Spirit to fill you with all you need to live in covenant relationship with your husband?
Vlog
Register for The Drive Marriage event in Dyer, IN (and you’ll get to meet my husband).
The Beautiful Womanhood Fast for Your Marriage challenge begins here March 18-29!
Call 219-374-5941 to register for the ‘Defined’ Women’s Retreat at Cedarlake Ministries May 3-5.
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Sandy Ralya is a dynamic speaker and critically-acclaimed author of The Beautiful Wife mentoring curriculum. She is also the founder and director of Beautiful Womanhood-- a ministry which equips mentors, encourages wives, and builds community among women.
For more information, visit the Beautiful Womanhood website!
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